James 4:1 (NIV) What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you?

We must be aware of our own tendency to be selfish in relationships.

I think we could safely say that the majority of the problems we deal with are because of our selfish human natures.

Selfishness is at the root of many sins. Do you see selfishness in others? Do you see selfishness in yourself?

Selfishness destroys our ability to have any wholesome relationships in any capacity. It is amazing how even little children have this trait.

Have you ever noticed when two children are playing, and one child doesn’t care about a certain toy until the moment the other child picks it up? Suddenly both children want it.

They scream and pull, and they will destroy the toy in the process.

It’s all because one child wants what the other has, this seems to be a part of human nature.

We are born that way, and if not recognized properly we can carry this trait with us through life.

Apostle James pointed out, “What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you?” (James 4:1).

That’s really it. We want our own way. By the way, in this passage, James was writing and talking to believers, which to me conveys no one is exempt from selfish tendencies without self-awareness.

We must equally be aware of selfishness in the people who are in our lives.

Relationships are a wonderful manifestation of love and care that lie in the human heart.

While a relationship based on the strong foundations of love and commitment grows every day, a relationship marked by traces of selfishness and disrespect for the other partner is equally cause for concern.

How many problems in our society are because of selfishness? When marriages are falling apart, by and large, it is because of selfishness.

I believe people have sex before marriage because of selfishness. The root of adultery and marriage indiscretion is selfishness from both partners is my strong opinion.

Name a problem, and for the most part, you will find selfishness rearing its ugly head.

Apostle Paul urged the believers at Philippi, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).

So, don’t be controlled by selfishness. Selfishness is a major concern and problem that must be addressed and not ignored for any reason.

While you can’t expect perfection from your partner, it is to be understood that a certain sense of belonging and care is mandatory for the relationship to survive and thrive.

Selfish behavior starts, when either of the partners is too concerned with the physical and emotional needs of oneself, giving the least amount of focus and thought about the other partner.

Point to ponder

We need to constantly ask the Lord to transform and change us. I know I have a long way to go.

And guess what? I know you have a long way to go, as well.

We all do, so let’s keep it moving in the direction that releases us from being held captive ( II Corinthian 10:5).

Nothing can destroy a family, marriage, church, friendship, etc., like selfishness.

QuoteDwight L. Moody once said, “I have more trouble with D. L. Moody than with any other man I’ve ever met.”

As Moody recognized, it’s our obsession with ourselves that is at the root of many of our problems.

  • Are you aware of your own self-centered ways?
  • Are you aware of the selfish behavior of those in your life?
  • How do you generally handle selfishness in your relationships?
  • Do you need help with the proper handling of selfishness in your life?
  • Can you see the value in today’s message on selfishness?
  • Is it time to deal with the selfishness in your life? Whether it’s you or someone else?

Special thanks!

Pastor James Baker, Jr. and our leadership team is especially thankful for those of you who provided financial donations and support in the month of February 2020, by partnering with us in efforts to advance the kingdom of God in this 21st century season: Special thanks to Mrs. Angela Harrison, Ms. Annette Straker, Mr. David Straker, Mr. Kenneth Washington, Ms. Darlene Simmons,  Ms. Itholear Abbott,  Mrs. Barbara Mason,  Ms. Theresa Lewis, Ms. Rita McGuffin, Ms. Ashley Baker, and Ms. Gertrude Scott.

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Kingdom Blessings,
Pastor James Baker Jr.


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